‘Breaking up is hard, but keeping dark is hateful’ – 10 songs to nurse your heart to

NB: Kudos to me for getting different parts from the same line of Time into two blog titles already in 2016. Maybe I can start up a *really* specialist blog dedicated to the song entirely. I could probably do that, you know. 

About six months ago, I was attempting to write something about culture for an online magazine, but I’d broken up with my former boyfriend about two weeks before. I emailed the editor, explaining that I couldn’t write anything at all right now, but I might be able to contribute something else in a couple of weeks instead.

“Hey!”, I added, rather optimistically, “maybe I could write you something about heartache ha ha ha!”

Screenshot 2016-04-08 at 22.14.05

Fast forward six months, and I am still absolutely not able to write a longform, shortform, or medium-sized-form piece about heartache.

I look back on the me of six months ago, and to her, I say: “Hon, you’re not gonna be able to write TWO things about this break-up a month after it’s happened! You’re not even gonna get close. You’re actually going to sleep with him a lot more times. I know! You’re both idiots. But it’s all going to be okay. You don’t have to write about it while it’s happening to you – just live with it – and write about it later, probably when you’re 40, and have ALL the hazy hindsight readily available.”

Maybe it’s something I can crack once I’ve been through a few more. Back then, I had no idea how I felt about it, let alone how to string it together coherently (I struggle with that at the best of times anyway). I saved most of the juicy stuff for my diary. And for my Whatsapp chats with my main girl, who patiently and graciously dealt with the long essays that came daily, then weekly, then monthly (now hopefully not for some time – until the next one, of course).

Once you’ve got past it (and it happens – somehow – for those currently going through it), you don’t see the point of writing about it. It’s digging up old graves, or something (I didn’t kill my ex, by the way).

Something positive I did discover about break-ups is that music never sounded so rich, so full, so important.

I wanted to create a playlist to mark this time after hearing Knowing Me, Knowing You by Abba on the radio this morning. I’ve always loved this song, but I wish I’d listened to it on repeat six months ago. It would have saved me A LOT of time.

You can listen to the 10 tracks I’ve chosen by clicking on the photo below.

001

I was kinda bummed that I couldn’t write a number 1 break up album like Our Lady Taylor Swift, but I am equally as happy to deal with my emotions with an old Bermuda guidebook, a Pritt Stick and music that I’ve lived with for the last five or so years, proving there was a time where I listened to these same songs before I even knew him at all.

Love always,
T.A.L x

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